I MISS EVERYONE.

Hey everyone,

This is just a short post to tell you guys that I'm safe and sound here in Penn. It's really lovely here, I'm having a really good time and things are all settling in okay. I've been soooo busy though, and it's a bit complicated to contact you guys for now. I'll call/text/email/reply all your facebook messages as soon as I can, promise. Just know that I'm okay and I miss and love you guys.

xoxo, sammie.

Patheticism.

Ugh wtf. This is pathetic.

My internet at home fucking died on me and I've been reduced to curling up at a strategic corner of my bed, where I somehow can tap into someone else's wireless connection. But it's so bloody horribly unstable that I might just lose the damn connection by the time I'm done with this post.

I'm just here to say Hello and sorry for not blogging for some time now. Roar I am so frustrated. I have so much to blog about, like my new cool underwater camera and my spontaneous sleepover at Piggie's place and my new forgiving resolutions and shopping and how I'm losing my mind trying to fucking pack and Penn and alotlotlot more that I probably will have forgotten by the time my internet gets fixed.

So um, yeah. Kthanksbye. Hehe.

xoxo, sammie.

Of sighs.

Because I have been a bit down and not in the mood do go out or do much stuff the past 2 or 3 days (please keep this sad state of me in mind as you read as it will soon serve as a means of justification for something I did hehe), I haven't been doing much but here's some updates.

*happysigh*

I feel missed and loved by MiniBaby, although she's probably very irritated with me now. Lol.

See, the thing is, I almost always leave my MSN online (or away, if I remember to change the status :P) when I go out or leave the computer. This has been a complaint of many people, one of the main ones being my BFF, and often results in numerous chatboxes screaming "OI ARE YOU THERE?", "WTF ANSWER MEEEEEE!", repeated "HELLO!"s or a super long story about something only to be concluded with "UMM ARE YOU THERE?". Hehe.

So, yeah, back to the story, the other day, I was in Gardens (alone on a mission, which I accomplished which will become the next happysigh) and Mini calls, so comel-fied and all.

"Baby where are you?!"
"Uh, Gardens, but going home soon, why?"
"OMG la can you put your stupid MSN away or sign off or something when you're not there?!"
"Haha why laaa? Lazy laa."
"WTF la I was messaging like a fool, thinking you're pissed at me or something, begging you to talk to me all."
"HAHAHAHA sorryyyyyyy la baby you damn cute."
"WTF. Eh next week I'm seeing you I don't care."
"OK set."

:) I misslove you too, MiniBaby. It's been too long; you're right, we need more shopping/delicious sessions at Bangsar.

Oh and this was what I found when I came home:

H a r m i n i said:
baby?
H a r m i n i said:
baby?
H a r m i n i said:
BABYYY
H a r m i n i said:
baby?
H a r m i n i said:
baby?
H a r m i n i said:
SAMMIE TALK TO ME

Teehee.

*happyandaccomplishedsigh*

I think when I have successfully done something right with my laptop BY MYSELF, I deserve an awesome reward (I can probably use this as justification for later too :)). So yes, I, feeling like such an adult but probably one who's about to get conned by the computer technician dude, went to get my laptop all fixed and good to go for the States.

This includes getting rid of some virus called Worms (lol wtf), reformatting the whole damn thing and reinstalling the original Windows XP and Microsoft Office and all that jazz (because the old loser installed fake ones for me, bastard), making sure my wonderful pictures and songs are well taken care of and upgrading everything necessary to make it work faster than a fucking turtle.

End results: I managed to convey to the guy what I needed (using cool technology words I don't really understand like RAM and hard disk and processor, etc.) and got it at an okay price, I'd say. Oh well, less than a new lappie anywho. I'm satisfied. And clever :)

*happyexcitedslightlyfreakedoutsigh*

This comes next because I just got a text from Josh about it. Lol.

Ookay, I'm flying to the States on the 25th of August at 8.50AM, correct? (I assume you all have this marked down on your calendar so you can come send me off.) And while I cannot have the bestest option of taking my family and all my sayangs and (maybe more importantly) MY ENTIRE WARDROBE, I will at least have 2 people I heart very much with me, my two BFFs - Stacey and Josh.

Hehe, what's better, I just called my travel agent and I've seated myself snugly between these fools who are still arguing over who gets the window seat. Sigh kids.

So yay! It's gonna be a good (and very painful, tearfilled, emotalking, scary, LOOONG) flight :)

*sadangryannoyedsigh*

Haha, this also comes next because I'm currently chatting with Maxie about it.

I have approximately 23 days to go. Woot woot! :)

But with this exciting embarkation, I also have 23 days to learn to do laundry. :(
WTF. My clothes are my prized possessions and having to do them myself hurts not because I actually have to do chores, but more because I'm so scared I'll damage them. :((

I still remember the first time I attempted to do it in Nilai. After loading all my clothes (separated by Siva) into the washing machine and pouring some detergent (measured by Siva), I proceeded to fill a bucket with water to pour into the machine.

At this point, Siva screamed WTH ARE YOU DOING?!

I answered (pretty confidently too, because I thought it was the logical thing to do) POUR WATER LA. NO NEED MEH?

... Sigh yeah, see what I mean?

Also, in relation to this, this leaves me 23 fucking days to stuff as much as I can of my wardrobe into 3 measly luggages. My life, packed and squeezed into 3 luggages. How the hell is that possible? :( I've decided to bring about 15 pairs of my 36 (hehe I bought one more) pairs of shoes and this is killing me. I haven't started with bags and don't even speak to me about leaving clothes behind.

*happygleefulslightlyguiltysigh*

Um, this is the part where you remember my previous justifications. And you can probably add the distress of eliminating wardrobe pieces to it :)

I went shopping. Hehe. And blew quite alot of money.
*slaps self in anguish but thinks of new purchases and smiles*
Haha I'm damn retarded.

So yeah, I failed my willpower. But ahh wtf, I was emo and lookie now, I'm so much better :)

Wanna know what I bought? Teehee.
I bought this red tube dress I've been dying to own for some time and looks so nice on me that it'll be a sin not to get it. :) So I picked the lesser of two evils. Lol.

I also bought this white clutch, which is something I've been looking for for awhile, because it's just so easy to match and practical. Essential :)

I bought 2 tops which make my boobs look bigger than usual. Enough said.

I bought 2 super cute undies/boy shorts thingy that I plan to prance around my room in Penn in (don't anyone tell me it's too cold for that). One is pink and says Princess and the other is yellow checked. Ah so cute!

And I bought this multicolored candycane looking sweater to keep me warm if the undies/boy shorts don't work. Hehe.

Wooooo retail therapy :) :)

*happytouchedsigh*

I came home with zero cash (literally zero, which rarely happens because I'm so paranoid I usually leave a bit :P) and managed to earn 10 bucks. Haha. How?

Well, Sha just got her first pay yesterday and she, in a moment of sickly sweetness, gives some to Mummy. And I, in one of my moments of shamelessness, request some as well. So I got 10 bucks. Which is pretty miserable but I'm not complaining. Hee.

*happycontentedsigh*

I spent BFF quality time with the BFF yesterday, which I've missed due to recent emoness. Lol. I accompanied her to run some errands and then we went shopping. Uh huh, this is the culprit who made me give in to temptation :P

And later on, we brought little Belle to the park. I swear it was so pretty. I'll get pictures soon :)

*happyawedsigh*

BATMAN. was. so. fucking. awesome. can. die.

My last 10 bucks well spent. I'm empty again. Donations anyone?

*hornylustysigh*

Angelina Jolie.

Hehe, next post for elaborations, probably.

xoxo, sammie.

Not very straight.

Angelina Jolie is the sex.

She could so make me swing the other way.

Ohmygod.

I'll elaborate more in the next post or something; if i did now it'll come out sounding very horny and lesbian. Which I am not :) Teehee, oh well, at least I'm not gay. Haha wtf.

OMG Angelina Jolie I want you.

Drool.

xoxo, sammie.

Lately.

Lately, my sleeping hours have been slightly screwed up. I go out practically every night and get home pretty late and end up going to bed at about 3ish every night. And I've not seen the earlier half of the day for the last week or so :P

As such, on days when I decide to be a good girl and stay home, at times like this (130am), I am still awake with basically nothing to do. Therefore, I shall blog, despite how moodless I am to actually do it. :/

We went for a family dinner tonight, which is something I wish we did more often (sigh, why do I have to realize 25 days before I leave how much I'm gonna miss my family despite how retarded they are and how I should have spent more time with them before :().

Sha's staying with us for a few days while her boyf is out of town and she suggested a Steamboat buffet thingy at Subang. So off we went, and pretty surprisingly - because zero of all the places she's suggested before turned out anything better than mediocre, I don't know why we still tried this one lol - it was pretty good. Very reasonably priced too. (and the sorta cute waiter didn't hurt too ;) LOL door opener soup pourer chicken giver *inside jokes*)

Oh right, I have a last birthday celebration to blog about before July ends, unless there's another birthday party within the next two days? Lol.

My stepdad, Uncle Julian's birthday was on the 25th of July.

After dinner, zomg I went pub/bar/club-ing with my family. Very, very awkward situation.

You know when guys in my age group come tell me I dance well or anything like that - because I do :P, I can be all *flips hair coy smile*. But wtf am I supposed to do when my parents' 40-50 year old friends tell me that?! :/ Not cool.

You know what else isn't cool? Drunken adults dancing on tables, headbanging to rock music and downing alcohol with me. :/ Seriously.

On the bright side though, it was the first (and hopefully last? :P) time I actually went clubbing (if the Cobra Club can be considered one at all :/ don't feel bad if you haven't heard of it, seriously) with my Mum, drank in front of her with no complaints and danced in front of her, my stepdad and their (note age group!) friends. Haha. I had a good time, surprisingly :P

We innocent people didn't know what we are getting ourselves into :/

Birthday boys (it was coincidentally that man in the white shirt's birthday too haha) with the cake.

Waiting for the Flaming lol.YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS NOT FUCKING COOL?! THIS. OMG YUCK. I don't think I'll ever look at my stepfather the same way again :/Zomg I look red. Stupid Chinese blood.Happy birthday! Wahaha guess how old is he. Don't let the hair fool you :PWith Ciku hehe.Don't fuck with me yo. Haha wth cmi.

Omfg this was the most fucking disgusting thing in the world. On the way back, we noticed a fucking lizard on our car window. LGUOEHOUHNLREUJBU fucking hell damn bloody gross wth. In case you didn't know, lizards are my fucking number one fear. YUCKKKKKKKKKKK.

Ok that's it bybye I shall leave you with that disgusting image omg yuck.

Oh no, wait! :) I got myself a new camera. Okay rephrase: Uncle Julian got me a new camera :) :) The best part of the night was a drunken Uncle Julian coming up to me, saying: "WHAT CAMERA DO YOU WANT? I'LL PAY FOR A NEW ONE FOR YOU."

Whoopee :)

It's waterproof - bikini camwhore sessions, here I come. It's shockproof - very important for the amount of times I drop stuff. And most importantly, it's pink :)

Heehee so purdeeeeeeeeeeeeee :)

xoxo, sammie.

Better in time.

It really hurt, I'm not gonna lie.

But I'm also not lying when I say I'm gonna be okay.

Because I will, with time. It's not gonna be easy, fucking hell, not even close to that. But I'll get through it, because I always have, and always will.

I want so much to make you feel as much pain as you have caused me to endure, but no, I won't.

Simply because I'm better than that.

Simply because I can't think of another way to punish you than you having to live with yourself; the regret you refuse to admit to but we all know is there; of letting go of the bestthingyoueverhad.

(Also, remember how I used to tell you karma is real and you never took me seriously? Well, it's gonna come bite you in the ass soon enough. Real hard.)

I don't know how I let this happen, again, but yes, I know I brought it on myself. I chose to give you a ten millionth chance; I chose to be blinded by the flaws I know you possess; I chose to turn a deaf ear to what everyone has told me; I chose to believe in you once again.

Bad choice? Damn right. But you know what? At least now I can say I've given my all. Yeah, I gave you my all, my everything and you took it without giving anything in return. Except fucking up. Horribly.

I don't know how you do it, but you have this profound effect over me. You can make me smile and make it disappear as you wish. I only wish you used this superpower of yours to make me happy. But you don't, you never did. I have so many people in my life who I know love me and they make me happy and they're good for me, but time and again, my world comes crumbling down just because of you. You meaningless prick.

You say you love me, that's there's nothing else in the world that comes close to me, that I am the most important thing in your life. Thing that confuses me is though, I know you mean those words. So why the fuck can't you stop screwing me over? That's why I think you need some serious help.

This is it. I'm breaking free.

"Thought I couldn't live without you,
It's gonna hurt when it heals to,
It'll all get better in time.

Even though I really love you,
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to,
It'll all get better in time."

I'll be okay, in time. If only you could say the same for yourself.

xoxo, sammie.

Fat.

OMG. This just in!

Over the past few days, I've been feeling fat. And today - like fucking 10 minutes ago - a very idiotic person (you know who you are, fucker! haha) pointed out that I've put on a little weight.

ZOMG. I have never been told that before. I've always taken being skinny for granted and I had a little bit of a freakout. Haha.

In a moment of panic, I changed my personal message on MSN to "OMG I'M FAT."

Within 5 minutes, my Julialove messages, furious:

julia [gym] says:
FUCK U.
julia [gym] says:
WHAT FAT.
sammie ♥ says:
omg love.
sammie ♥ says:
seriously.
sammie ♥ says:
tell me.
sammie ♥ says:
have i put on weight.
sammie ♥ says:
someone just told me i did.
julia [gym] says:
AISHO
julia [gym] says:
UR BODY IS GORGEOUS
julia [gym] says:
PLS LA

Hehe, I love that woman and I *hope* she was being honest.

Still unconvinced though, I turned to my ever loyal and brutally honest BFF.


sammie ♥ said:
fattie!
sammie ♥ said:
i need to ask u something.
sammie ♥ said:
and i need an honest answer!
Stacey- Budak KL says:
kk
Stacey- Budak KL says:
wat is it
sammie ♥ says:
have i put on weight?
sammie ♥ says:
i mean, i know i have la.
sammie ♥ says:
but does it show.
sammie ♥ says:
and does it look bad.
Stacey- Budak KL says:
NO< NOT AT ALL
Stacey- Budak KL says:
it doesnt show at all
Stacey- Budak KL says:
and pls ok, u look nice
Stacey- Budak KL says:
dont be so silly
Stacey- Budak KL says:
and u know i would tell u if i thought so right
sammie ♥ says:
haha. okay thank u.
sammie ♥ says:
please do!
Stacey- Budak KL says:
TAKE THAT PERSONAL MESSAGE AWAY

Zomg. Haha, sorry, even gorgeous people like me have our moments of insecurities :P Seriously though, have I put on weight? Honest, but nicely cushioned comments, please. Hehe.

xoxo, sammie.

Overdue.

This is a little overdue, but shut up and read anywho :)

July is one month full of birthdays. If it wasn't for the fact that my awesome self was born in this month too, I'd hate it. The amount of presents, planning and parties is insane. Not that I have any complaints about the latter, just the two formers. Teehee.

Let's see who's birthdays are somewhere around this month.

3rd - My cousin Brandon, who I forgot to wish due to overexcitement of my own the next day. Heehee.

4th - MINE! Enough said.

12th - Tina, who I remembered to wish cause I was all sobered up by then :P

13th - Mummy!

14th - Mini's :)

(I think someone's is on the 17th, though I can't, for the life of me, remember. Haha sorry if you're reading this :P)

20th - Josh and Cassandra! (about which you shall be reading (or viewing, more like haha) shortly)

22nd - Jay. Which is today! Happy birthday :)

23rd - Yungterd (Facebook saved me on this one lol :P)

25th - Stepdaddy Uncle Julian. Haha.

Zomg there's many more, I think. Sob I feel so not special anymore. But it's okay, it's okay - I had a fucking rocking birthday :)

So yeah, back to the point - last weekend, we celebrated Cass's 19th birthday at Space, KL.

I think the club is pretty awesome, the layout and stuff. The dancefloor could use some jazzing up but overall, pretty okay. The worst part of the night? It was fucking trance night. ZOMG HATE HATE. Haha, I layan-ed as though it was my favorite ol' R & B. Shut up, I'll dance however I like hehe.

OMFGGGGG. We partied with Flo Rida! Like, the fucking creator of my clubbing anthem?! Wooooo, SHORTY GOT LOW LOW LOW LOW LOW LOW LOWWWWW! :) :)

He was in this VIP section thingy, but the bouncers apparently took a great liking towards Cass and wee, there I was, right bloody next to Flo Rida - talking to him, drinking with him, laughing with him. Wooo, it was a good night. And the birthday girl had a blast, and that's what counts ;)

Pictures:

Brendan and I :)

I can multitask :)

Us girls :)

Ju, Cass and I!

Group pic!

My dolls and I again :)

Kenny!

WOOOO SHORTY GOT LOW BABY! :)

Next night, it was Josh's turn. The boy requested something simple for his big step into legality because all he wanted (and I quote!) was "to turn 18 with you there" - you meaning me :) Aww, that was just so sweet, I can't get over it. Hehe.

So, we headed for the Curve. Had dinner at Italiannies/Laundry. Stayed on for some beer and a little dancing to end the night :)

I hope you had fun. Retard 1 hearts Retard 2.

Pictures (and I swear I don't know whytf his eyes were closed in fucking all of them!):

First of many closed eyes pictures :/

Birthday boyyyy :)

Idiots I heart.

His first legal drink ;) Feels good, don't it? :P

Hello, we are retarded.

Ahh, since I'm posting pictures already, I'm gonna continue with some recent random ones :P

Random. Somewhere in Vinnci, I think. I DID NOT BUY ANY SHOES.

Craving Kenny Roger's chicken hehe.

Yes, stare at my lips - I know you want them hehe.

WHY YOU CANNOT SMILE PROPERLY?!

And this is today! :)Looking bored while I snap more pictures :(

This idiot got bored too. Fools. Haha.

OK. So before I go, let me just tell you what an accomplishment my willpower in regards to shopping has been. Since my last promise to stop fucking purchasing stuff, I have only bought:

A bag - This one was at a fucking bargain. And it's SO cute. And it's fucking pink :)

A pair of shoes - But this is a neccesity, it's a pair of sneakers I'm planning to wear for class and stuff. And it's fucking pink :)

A top - This is also required. Long sleeved. With hoodie. At a bargain, too. Not pink, unfortunately. :/

A tube top - Okay, so this is not a neccesity but it's fucking 4 bucks. Complain and I'll slap you :)

xoxo, sammie.

Plans.

So, yesterday, the initial plan was to sleep in and then have a nice, slow day to myself, which is something I've not had the chance to have for some time now.

Yeah right. That didn't work out :/

Firstly, I was rudely awakened by a text message from PK around 11ish (and no, sleeping til that time is not counted as sleeping in :P). I decided to start my nice, slow day a little bit earlier than planned. So I took a long, nice hot shower and that's the extent to which my plan worked.

Stacey had a sudden craving for Japanese food and I, being her awesome BFF, felt obliged to help her satisfy it. But, because I am (planning and trying very hard to, albeit unsuccessfully, as you shall soon read) turning over a new leaf - from insanely uncontrollable compulsive shopaholic to a rational practical thrifty money spender - I made it a point to point out that I do not want to go shopping (omg first time in fucking history, I swear!) and that in no circumstances whatsoever, can I be put into a situation in which I will feel compelled to purchase something.

She is a fool. She promised that it will be a simple day of Japanese food and sock shopping. I agreed after much rationalization and justification that socks are a necessity in life, especially in the life of someone who will soon be leaving to Pennsylvania (37 days omggggg), where socks are a basic need in life; without which my feet will get frostbites and I will die of frozenness. (If you're going to point out that Penn isn't that cold, shut it hehe.)

So yeah, I got ready, she picked me up and we go for Sushi King - where the woman feels deprived enough to check out the waiters and come to the conclusion that Sunway Pyramid's waiters are nicer looking than Mid Valley's zomg, but that's besides the point.

Japanese food was as far as we went with the plan. Not understanding my sincere intention to stop spending money, she insists we check out a number of shops (apparently, "just to see!" and she "will control me and not let me buy anything, no matter what"). Needless to say, this plan failed, too. Big time.

3 bangles, another fucking pair of shoes (I have purchased 7 pairs of shoes in the last 5 days, bloody consecutively OMFG SOMEBODY STOP ME), a waistbelt, a (PINK STRIPED OMG) scarf and snowcap set and a BFF charm bracelet we bought together. Yeah, that's what I bought.

The most ironic part: I didn't buy any socks. WTF.

So, yeah, after beating myself up for having the world's weakest willpower (uh huh, I do have a guilty conscience - surprise surprise?), I had to rush back to drive Ciku all the way to tuition in Taman Tun. (zomg why doesn't Mummy understand my need to sit at home and mourn my shopaholicism?)

My Piggie Lavonne met up with me for dinner while I waited for Ciku.

My plan to have a slow day today in place of yesterday bombed as well. I followed Lav to Breakers so she could train for her competition tomorrow. I had fun though - foosing, eating, shisha-ing and talking the night away. I met one of her close friends, Sanjiv who is such an idiot but such a sweetheart at the same time. Haha, we hit it off well and he makes me laugh.

Piggie, I know you're going through a rough patch now. But I know you'll get through this and I'm here to help you do that as much as I can. Keep in mind the things we told you okay, we only want the best for you. So shut up and smile! Hehe love you la woman.

I'm not even gonna hope for a niceslowday tomorrow. I'm gonna go show some support to Lav and PK for their competitions in the afternoon and at night, weehee dance dance baby :)

Oh well, maybe Saturday?

And oh, did I mention, I finally sat down and lined up all my shoes and counted them? Thirty fucking five pairs of shoes. I, honest to God, don't know how that happened. I'm feeling shocked and guilty and all that jazz, but seriously, the main worry on my mind? HOW IN FUCK'S NAME AM I GOING TO FIT ALL THESE INTO MY SUITCASE WITHIN THE WEIGHT LIMIT?!

xoxo, sammie.

Stupid.

You know, sometimes, I'm confronted with such abysmally stupid idiotic brainless fuckers in this world that do/say things that I cannot even begin to comprehend how retardedly ridiculous they are.

This is one of those times. I'm shocked to speechlessness that such people exist in this beautiful world of mine.

Sometimes, I wish I had a gun I could just point at whomever I wish and shoot them down. Haha, just the thought of it makes me happy. It would really make the world a better place, in my opinion. And trust me, you'd take the first bullet. How stupid you are makes me laugh, really. :)

I've just wasted 5 minutes of my precious life typing that shit about stupid people omg.

Oh well, I'm gonna get my hair chopped off now. It's time for a change. Pray I don't turn out ugly, like the people I wasted 5 minutes of my life on. :/ That would be bad.





--


Edit:





My head feels much much much lighter now. Hee, I had my haircut done at Shawn Cutler's saloon, which is one I've been wanting to try for some time. I used to get my hair done at A Cut Above and then switched to my mummy's hairstylist at aplaceidon'trememberwhatit'scalledlol. But based on my first appointment today, I shall be back for more :)





I think I look like a ball, quite retarded but very cute. Haha, which isn't really the look I was going for but it's okay. I wanted to go like super short a la Victoria Beckham or Rihanna but didn't go through with it in the end due to lack of guts and bans from certain people. Pfft :P

I like my haircut overall, though it'll take some getting used to. And hee, 5 out of 5 people I asked told me it was nice. I'm happy, don't spoil it for me, tell me I look nice too, thank you :P

Trotter still loves me, even if you think my hair is horrendous. Boo :P

On something unrelated, today is a day of emo vibes. As you can see from the previous portion of this post, I had some very pissed off moments (I still am but argh, they're not worth it they're not worth it!) and so did two of my best friends, who are awesome people who deserve nothing but the best.

To the both of you - hang in there, things are gonna get better because we rock and we deserve it. Til then, I'm here for you both. Loves.

Lavonne kept me company while I was getting my hair done; after which we headed to Mid Valley for Sushi King (I swear I bring that place business, I've baptized another Golden Ball lover - Stacey and Josh, one more for our gang hee!) and then Breaker's to foos our emoness away. Stupid piglet has improved so much, gone were the days I could trash you and Chean by myself huh :( Oh well, I blame Nilai.

I'm sorry I lost your ring. And I'm sorry I got angry but for what it's worth, you mean alot to me and I didn't like hearing you say otherwise.

Oookay, I'm off to watch Dirty Dancing II now :) Nothing like cuddling up in bed with Trotter with a good movie to boo the emoness away. Tomorrow's a new day (hopefully one where the idiots who made today horrible just die :)), people - smile! Hee, optimistic much, I know.

Oh, and thank you for making me laugh when I needed it, you know who you are. Mwah :)

Wahaha, this post is just filled with really cryptic messages. Byeeee!

xoxo, sammie.